Disney's Animal Kingdom is first-rate; it was my favorite of the parks. There's a real sense of Casablanca-ish Hollywood to it, but the 'authentic artificiality' of it is part of its charm. In this case, the beauty, not the devil, is in the details--the fake placards and ads on the walls; the deliberate grunginess of the street sign printing; the deliberate cracking of the concrete.

It's all an illusion, of course, right down to the 'Safari' one takes--made to feel like a real trip through the savanna, one finds out later that they call the animals in each night--but as an illusion it's absolutely tops.

Two rides top all: Kali River Rapids, which is as drenching as advertised (my shoes never did dry out until we returned home--TO IOWA!), and Expedition Everest. It's too bad that most people are only interested in the thrills of them, because those wonderful details--the paintings and accoutrements that surround you in line, for example--are half the joy to the careful observer.

Naturally, the shows (the 'Lion King' variant, the 'Bug's Life' variant) are quite good, and children love all the animals, but for adults, this park has more charm than the others. And afterwards, if you can, eat at the ethnic buffet at Animal Kingdom lodge's 'Boma' restaurant. Best ethnic food in all of Disney, IMO. Fighting over their soups could start WWIII.

And then there's the ride called 'Dinosaur.' Well, not every Disney idea is a winner. 'Dinosaur' used to be called 'Countdown to Extinction,' until recently changed, but I feel it more accurately should be called. 'Getting Jerked Around in the Dark.' It's loud, abrasive, not overly clever, and will scare the stool out of any kid under seven and the urine out of women who sometimes pee if they cough or laugh too hard.

Teenagers, I am sure, will love it.

Regardless, there's a lot to recommend about AK, and if Disney wants to REALLY go whole hog on it, here's all they need to do:

1. Give more photo ops on the 'Kilimanjaro Safari.' Stop the truck a minute--let us take ONE non-shaky picture! After all, that's what happens on a REAL safari. However, if anyone is dying to see two dozen blurry photos of elephants, cheetahs, okapi, and the elusive bongo, then I'm your man.

2. The park needs two more high quality thrill rides. Expedition Everest is terrific--likely the best ride in all of Disney right now--but the park still needs another one or two to compete, thrill-wise, with the others.

3. Open a couple of really spicy, authentic ethnic restaurants. Make one Indian--with spicy Vindaloos a specialty--and the other Ethiopian. As popular as 'Boma' is, I'm confident they would be well-patronised in one of the actual theme parks.

4. Never EVER get rid of 'Fast-Pass.' Don't even think about it. In fact, add it to MORE attractions if possible. I know it doesn't fit in with the other suggestions, but I felt compelled to say it.

A word of advise for any Disney park: you always get twice as much food as any normal person needs. We ate lunch at 'Dinosaurus' (translation: Fancy McDonald's) and in addition to four cheeseburgers, we got about 54,000 French Fries in our combo meals. Order one combo meal for two people and split them in half--saves $, save kilocalories, and saves trips to the bathroom.

More on trips to the bathroom later.